TODAY WITH DIDAM: POINT OF DIVERGENCE IN A FATHER AND A DADDY

The ideas within this concept might not apply in all situations. There might be exceptions. Just my perspective.

Any man who can impregnate a woman is capable of becoming a father. Fatherhood in this sense is biological. Being a daddy is a lot more beyond ejaculating in a woman; it is taking responsibility. Paraphrasing an idea from Robert T. Kiyosaki and Sharon L. Lechter’s Rich Dad, Poor Dad, a father will say “the reason I am not rich is because I spend my fortune on my children”, while a daddy will say “the reason I have to be rich is because I have to properly take care of my kids”.

While a father can only participate in the process of procreation, and doesn’t care or know how to take the responsibility for his kids’ welfare and up-bringing, a daddy doesn’t only participate in procreation, but also in actively raising his kids into responsible men and women. Have you ever wondered why male animals don’t cater for their young ones aside procreating them? It is because their instinct wouldn’t go beyond their selfish needs. Life to most male animals is all about themselves. They don’t give a hoot about nothing else. If these male animals can only eat food, drink water, mate with their female kinds and sleep, then life is good. They are just ‘animalistic fathers’. They can never be daddies. Don’t be an animal. Be human.

For example, a daddy does not only know his kids’ favourite TV programmes and authors, he also regulates and places the channels and movies they watch on PG (parental guide). A daddy listens to his kids. He is not always right nor always the boss. A daddy is mild and gentle yet strictly disciplined, in administering etiquettes and morals to his kids. He pays attention to their needs, even psychological. He monitors the company they keep, their choice of words, use of language and their spiritual growth. A daddy also gives his kids long but protected leashes (supervised freedom) to experience some things in life for themselves.

According to the UNICEF 2017 statistics given by Mohammed Fall, the UNICEF Country Representative in Nigeria, Nigeria has the world's highest number of out-of-school children. Nigeria still has 10.5 million out-of-school children; with sixty per cent of those children, in northern Nigeria. And about 60 per cent of out-of-school children are girls. All thanks to the 'fathers' as the 'daddies' are quite measurable. This calls for daddies reawakening. 

Even when not equipped with western education, a daddy’s relentless effort could be clearly felt and seen. He wouldn’t water-down disciplinary standards to pamper his kids. He wouldn’t spare the rod to spoil the child, yet he would work out his life to give his kids the best things in life. A daddy would teach his kids the ‘dignity of labour’, patriotism, self discovery, taking good care of the 'self' and high regards for the human life. A daddy’s presence at home is highly appreciated and enjoyed by his kids. He is always missed when away. His kids aren’t scared of making mistakes in his presence, because he corrects in love and tenderness but with boldness and clarity.

The sound of a father’s footstep or car engine scares every member of his household. Even the roaming house rats, lizards and wall geckos run back to their holes and to their cracked portion on the wall. Everyone pretends to be at their best in his presence. A father is always right. His views are highly supreme and dogmatic. Which are you or which would you rather be as a man, ‘a father’ or ‘a daddy’? Don't say; keep it to yourself.

Please don’t get it twisted. I am not propagating laxity in the name of love for your children. Neither am I insinuating sparing the rod at the detriment of the child. But it is not enough to only provide your kids/wards with the good things of life without proper application of discipline (checks and balances) to ensure their sound moral upbringing. Note that, just as being a ‘father’ (procreation) involves the active participation (almost 95%) of a woman, so also does being daddy involves a strong and dedicated commitment of a ‘mother’. And as what language is to communication, so is a mother the grease that smoothens the ride of the family’s wheel (‘daddy’). Without her maximum support and cooperation, being a ‘father’ could be a journey of futility. With all being said, you as a ‘daddy’ can pull through alone, if need be. Yes you can! If necessity calls though.


Didam Laah 
www.didamlaah.blogspot.com.ng